Want to make your crush notice you? Try these subtle methods
As a coach, I’ve helped countless clients navigate the delicate dance of attracting someone they desire. While an overt approach may backfire, subtlety and care can awaken a crush to see you in a new light. After years of experience, I’ve found small gestures and thoughtful actions often speak louder than words.
1. Make Them Feel Understood
We all want to be seen, heard and understood. When conversing with your crush, listen attentively to what lights them up. Notice the quirks and details that bring them joy. Then, find natural ways to reference those unique passions in future interactions. A well-timed callback lets them know you were truly paying attention, seeing them as an individual. It’s a simple yet powerful way to make someone feel special.
2. Appreciate Their Perspective
While connecting over shared interests feels good, don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone. Make an effort to appreciate genres of music, books, or hobbies that currently fall outside your wheelhouse but hold meaning for your crush. Ask thoughtful questions from a place of genuine curiosity, not judgment. Discovering new perspectives together bonds you on a deeper level. It also shows your willingness for personal growth.
3. Compliment Their Character
In a world obsessed with image, choose to compliment character over appearance. Notice when they demonstrate kindness, integrity, bravery, or perseverance. Let them know you value these traits. We often hide our best selves, worried they won’t be accepted. But a well-timed character compliment reassures your crush it’s okay to shine. It also reveals your priorities in a potential partner.
4. Help Without Expectations
When you expect nothing in return, helping becomes its own reward. Does your crush seem stressed or overwhelmed? Offer support by bringing them a favorite snack to lift their mood. See a need and step up to lend a hand, whether it’s proofreading a paper or giving them a ride. Don’t make a big deal out of small favors. Genuine help without strings attached can soften even the most guarded heart.
5. Give Them Room to Be Themselves
As thrilling as a new crush can be, avoid smothering them. Have patience if they need space or seem hesitant about deepening intimacy. Pressuring will only push them away. By giving room to simply be themselves, you allow trust and affection to blossom at their own pace. Your quiet confidence and care for their comfort show maturity beyond your years.
6. Share Your Imperfections
We often try to present an idealized version of ourselves to a crush, hiding anything that might appear as a flaw. However, allowing some of your imperfections and quirks to show demonstrates courage and vulnerability. Sharing your messy handwriting, tendency to trip over words when excited, or hobby of collecting pebbles from beaches lets your crush see the real you. And being authentic is always more endearing than being perfect.
7. Introduce Them To Your World
Give your crush a peek into the everyday moments that make up your world. Snap a photo of a cute dog you see on your walk to work and send it to them. Show them your latest art project you’re proud of, or invite them to join your book club. These casual interactions allow someone to experience life’s simple joys through your eyes. Shared delights form the building blocks of intimacy.
8. Handwrite Notes of Appreciation
In our digital age, receiving a handwritten card or note feels especially meaningful. Keep a stack on hand and look for opportunities to jot a quick note of thanks or encouragement to your crush. Congratulate them on acing an exam or let them know you appreciate their unique perspective after a deep conversation. Handwriting a personal message takes time and care, allowing your affection to be felt through your pen strokes.
9. Surprise Them With Unexpected Delights
In my many years as a relationship coach, I’ve seen time and again how small gestures of affection can quietly capture someone’s heart. One of my favorite techniques is to surprise your crush with unexpected delights.
Pay attention to the little things that make their eyes sparkle — a favorite song, candy, or silly meme. Then, find thoughtful ways to deliver tiny surprises when they least expect it. I once secretly made a playlist of obscure bands a client loved and slipped it into his backpack when he wasn’t looking. When another client was stressed about exams, I showed up with her preferred candy bar to brighten her mood.
For one client feeling down, I printed out a photo of a fun moment we’d shared and hid it in her journal. These weren’t big productions, just simple reminders that I was thinking about what matters most to them. That feeling of being seen is so powerful.
10. Have Patience With Their Growth
It’s also key to have patience as a crush navigates life’s ups and downs. When one client struggled through a family move, I resisted the urge to judge her mood swings and instead gave her space to process emotions. I only shared guidance when asked, never imposing my own expectations. We all walk our own path in our own time. Offering gentle patience as your crush grows into themselves will forge an unbreakable bond.
Nurturing romance requires equal parts tact, care, and courage. But subtle gestures that make someone feel appreciated often speak louder than words. Have faith that small seeds of affection can blossom into profound connections. Let your actions whisper what a thousand love letters could not.